When our phones or laptops are running low on battery, we can find the indicator telling us the remaining percentage. We, as parents, don’t have such a setting. We have to use other indicators to notify us when to take a break. When our parenting batteries are low, it can be difficult to think straight. Read on to discover your “low battery” indicators as well as three steps to getting back on track, especially when combating burnout, holiday stress, and pandemic fatigue.
Where’s my parenting battery indicator?
If you find yourself feeling: Irritable, overwhelmed, accident-prone, tired, overburdened, sick, depressed, weepy, resentful, angry, indecisive, worried, fearful, guilty, or having negative thoughts.
Those could be signs that you need to take a break.
Ideas: shower, hug, nature walk, warm beverage, read, journal, create, exercise, scented candles, meditate, music, dance, or laugh.
Step 1: Recharge
We need to regularly and proactively charge our devices. We, as parents, need to do the same thing for ourselves. How do you RECHARGE? That is, proactively and regularly replenish your emotional, mental and physical “battery”.
There are times when our devices are glitchy, right? They operate slowly or don’t do what we want. What is the first thing the IT tech person suggests we do? Restart our device.
Step 2: Restart
Ideas: Zip it, breathe, move it, call a friend, say no, do a chore, write, go outside, dance, snag some alone time, say something kind to yourself, pray, nap, stretch, let something go, or say no.
When we find ourselves during the day feeling any of the above feelings, this is a good sign that we need to RESTART or RESET. How can you restart? These are shorter actions, often ones that take less than a few minutes and can be done in the presence of our children.
Lastly, have you ever picked up your phone or opened your laptop and gotten pulled into a social media post, news article, game, or email when you didn’t intend to? How many times as parents are we reacting to our children’s behavior instead of responding thoughtfully?
Step 3: Engage Intentionally
Ideas: acknowledge your/your child’s positive qualities, offer choices, share feelings using “I” statements, look for patterns, or see things from your child’s point of view.
As with our devices, after we reset, we can choose how we want to engage rather than thoughtlessly taking action. With a clearer head and grounded spirit, how could you engage with your child? What is it that you want, as a parent? How could you discover what they need? How could you both get your needs met?
I hope these three steps will support you in combating burnout, holiday stress, and pandemic fatigue this winter and contribute to a harmonious family experience.
Recharge, Restart, and Engage Intentionally
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